Sweetcorn Man

My most favourite customer ever, was a friendly chap I met when I used to work in a garden center.
Sweetcorn Man. He wore always wore a big black top hat.

One day he was after killing spiders that were eating his cabbages, he wanted to kill them with powdered antpoison. (he said the spiders looked like the picture of the ants on the bottle).

When someone says that too you it's best not to say
spiders don't eat cabbages,
ant poison isn't made for killing spiders,
spiders are gardeners friends
and really help you in the garden.
It's all far too late for that,
he's seen them do it,
there's spiders munching his cabbage right now,
big black ones like on the picture of the bottle.

So after managing to convince him it could make him really ill he still went ahead and bought it.
This was how it usually went with Sweetcorn Man.

Another time he was convinced that there was a German beetle, waiting for him to leave his allotment, so he could tuck in to his vegetables.
"a German beetle?" I said in disbelief to Sweetcorn Man,
"I couldn't believe it either, then I heard him up the telegraph pole, he's got boots on...."

I couldn't offer him anything specific for German beetles that day!